Shout out to:

Divorced parents who don’t talk, but call each other to go “halfsies” on the kids’ xmas gifts.

Dudes (still) shopping at Tiffany’s. That $200 heart bracelet is so 2000-late!

Parents buying “Easy Bake Ovens” for Christmas, and don’t have any real food for their real oven.

Grand kids that asked for iPods, and end up getting a Sandisk .mp3 player.

Parents buying Escalade Power-wheels for their kids when your car-note is past dude.

Parents buying big-screen TVs when you know your cable is off.

Gap employees. I know you’ve folded that same sweater 377 times.

Parents spending $150 on new Jordan’s. Your kid can’t spell “Bulls”, nor count to 23.

Gift bags and tissue paper. I’ve seen the way some of you wrap presents, abomination!

Parents buying Madden / NBA Live video games for their kids. Buy his FAT BUTT a ball and a bat.

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